Ever wonder what is a definition of a perfect time?

It took me a long while to make my own definition and realise when my perfect time is. As usually, I did it by the learning-from-my-mistakes method.

Does it happen to you that, for example, you go through your wardrobe in the morning getting ready for work and you see that dress you bought a few months ago, but have never worn it yet, thinking every time you see it ‘I’ll wear it on a special occasion’? Or, there is that bottle of wine in your cupboard, that you bought in the vineyard last year or during the French wine presentation and haven’t opened yet because it’s not special enough meal? Is there a restaurant that you spotted on your way to the green market and kept thinking of going to but the occasion is not good enough? Or, that new perfume you bought, is too good to wear it for work? Does it happen?

I used to be exactly the same but I had no definition of a ‘special occasion’. I would leave dresses, perfumes, shoes or drinks for a special occasion that I could not define, but I knew that they were not everyday ones (eyebrow up) until I started working in the war zone. Through my work, I met so many people whose lives were interrupted in horrific, unexpected and indescribable ways and many of them regretted little and simple things that we take for granted or we wait special occasions to do.

By the time we realise the definition of the special occasion, if we ever do, it is often too late.

A few months ago, a good friend of mine was moving abroad and asked me if she could leave some boxes in our attic. Certainly, I said and helped her pack and move the boxes. While packing we came across a beautiful green silk dress and beige silk cardigan that I fell in love with at first site. The conversation between my friend and me went something like this.

‘Aren’t you taking this beautiful cardigan with you, you can certainly wear it there?’.

‘That is a 350 euro cardigan, too expensive’

‘Even better reason to enjoy every opportunity in it’.

‘I will destroy it and what if I die?’

‘Well, if you die you were at least enjoying your cardigan, woman!’

‘No’ my friend said, ‘I want it saved’.

‘Saved for what?’, I asked, but my friend never answered and decided that the gorgeous cardigan is better off in a dark box in our attic than on her in summer eves.

A similar conversation happened tonight while I was posting my pile of to-be-read books on my #Litsy account. One of my followers, commenting on one of the books, said that she was waiting for the ‘perfect time’ to read it, but that she was not sure when that will be…

We work long and stressful hours in the offices full of people that we may or, more often, may not like, doing the work that, if fortunate, we love. We hear bad news every single day, we read posts on our social media feeds that have no relevance to our lives, we conform to wishes, plans and rules of our partners, children, family, colleagues, bosses or, if we are lucky, we make compromises.

What is there that we can do to feel better about ourselves?

Indulge ourselves. Make events out of little things that will make a whole lot of a difference in our daily lives. Put on that dress or that favourite expensive shirt and go to work. If there is a particular dress code at work, then wear it when meeting friends for coffee or dinner. Don’t forget to spray that favourite perfume of yours. When you return home, while still in the same glamorous outfit, open that special bottle of wine. Then toss those Prada (or not) shoes off your feet, lift the feet on the table and take a sip. When you’re ready, put on your nighty for special occasions, you know the one (wink, wink), grab a book that you had your eye on for so long and finish that day like a queen or king.

My learning curve to indulge myself had its highs and lows. Lows were really low especially after the trauma I went through. I was not able to keep the momentum during my up times. Then I realised that I need to be proactive. I need to be on top of myself in order to keep the momentum. Also, I needed a plan. So, I made one. It wasn’t a perfect one but I had it. I made an important step in the right direction.

I learnt that every day deserves a celebration. Every time I felt like doing something – I did it or took steps in order to make it happen. Because that was my special occasion and my perfect time. Exactly when I felt like it. I learnt the lesson, although it took me some time and effort. Why wait, what for? I decided not to. Make any time the perfect time because you deserve it. Chin-chin!